Written by Brad Smallwood, MFT
It's March 17, 2025, and this is a follow-up to the article I wrote for FitPros at the beginning of the shelter-in-place order in March 2020. At that time, we were just beginning to understand the uncertainty of what the next few weeks, months, and years would bring. I wrote some basic dos and don'ts, providing practical guidance on how to stay calm amidst the great uncertainty that the onset of a global pandemic had brought. I remember recognizing that beyond what we were experiencing then, this period would teach us a great deal as a culture in the future. Sitting here typing five years later, it feels like if I woke up today after taking a nap in March 2020, I would wake up to a new world. With significant changes in our world, one of the greatest determining factors in our personal success is our ability to adapt and evolve with these changes.
The emergence of the Covid-19 global pandemic brought about a need to shift very quickly from the way we were used to living to one where we were now mostly confined to our homes and connecting with others via screens. For many folks, work changed from going to an office every day to logging onto a computer. Jobs that required in-person work had to adapt quickly to follow strict health and safety protocols. Schools and businesses shut down overnight, families scrambled to figure out how to simultaneously work and care for their children, and social support systems fell apart. People were getting sick; people were dying. My wife works in a San Francisco emergency room that could barely supply their workers with personal protective equipment when the pandemic hit.
Being a therapist over these past five years has been an incredible privilege. When I started this work 20 years ago, I never could have imagined that I would feel helpful in what I do for a living during a global pandemic, and also have people share the most vulnerable parts of their lives during this intense period of time. The folks I have worked with have been my greatest teachers. To see the growth, resilience, and clarity people found throughout this time is remarkable. Work has changed, the way people communicate has changed, but the experience of being a person has remained the same.
I’ve written down a few of the skills folks have used in the past five years that not only helped them navigate uncertain times but also enabled them to thrive and grow more fully into their best selves. None of the things below are novel—these are just observations I made with my take on them, and I hope you enjoy them.
Do:
Connect with people meaningfully and intentionally- Former US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called loneliness an epidemic in our culture. Being with others is critical to our well-being. There is a clear link between social connection and improved health outcomes: longer lifespan, quicker recovery from illness, lower stress and anxiety, and reduced depression. When my jiu jitsu academy reopened after pandemic closures, it was incredible to see many people join not only for exercise but for the community and social connection it provides. Check in on friends and visit the relative you've been meaning to see—it's beneficial for both of you.
Learn to communicate boundaries in personal life and work- The shifts between in-person, hybrid, and remote work have blurred the lines between being 'available' and 'unavailable.' For many, working from home morphed into living at work. The transition to remote and hybrid work led many people to feel that they need to be constantly available to coworkers. It is essential to communicate clearly and set boundaries to prevent burnout and further stress.
Listen to understand- We live in a world of quick replies, hot takes, and 184-character rants. Our attention and capacity to truly understand the needs, wants, and desires of others are under attack. Most misunderstandings stem from a breakdown in communication. When we truly listen to understand instead of rushing to reply, we learn and connect more deeply with others.
Practice gratitude- Simply put, practicing simple gratitude connects us to the present moment and helps us feel appreciative for what we have. Right now, I’m thankful for the quiet evening I’m having as I write this as my wife puts our determined 3 year old to bed. Chances are, she is not having a parallel experience at the moment.
Turn breathing into a skill- The first thing we do when we come into this world is breathe, yet we often take it for granted. Breathing is one of the most effective and accessible tools we can use to shift from being reactive to reflective. Breathing exercises help us regulate our sympathetic nervous system when under stress. There is a wealth of online resources with excellent breathing techniques. You can also message me, and I’ll email you my list of excellent breathing techniques that I’m happy to share and also use myself.
Connect to the natural world and exercise- The link between emotional well-being and physical movement is clear. During the pandemic, people had to get creative with their exercise routines as gyms closed and other recreational activities became unavailable. The simple act of walking around your neighborhood, exploring a new city on foot, or experiencing the outdoors on a hike is good for both the body and soul.
Practice ruthless self compassion-People are often hard on themselves, sometimes to the point of self-abuse. When we learn to give ourselves the grace we extend to others, we become kinder to ourselves and, in turn, kinder to others.
Consume quality information-There is so much junk out there that it is hard to discern what is real and what is not. Understand your sources, and ask people to point you in the direction of quality information.
Don't:
Don't block out or compartmentalize anxiety- Instead, focus on the present moment to reduce anxiety. Anxiety can take over our minds, fixating on negative future outcomes, and our safety-seeking brain can catastrophize to the point of delusion. Don't worry—this is your brain trying to protect you and can be viewed as your body showing up to protect you. Focusing on the present moment allows us to regain agency. Use this anxiety as a map to understand your emotional world and as a prompt to use coping skills. You can't always fully control your mind, but you can learn to work with it. Learn coping skills like deep breathing and mindfulness to coexist with anxiety and worry.
Don't get locked into doom scrolling and negative social media spirals- Somehow, social media continues to find new ways to divide and isolate people. The past five years have become increasingly polarizing, and social media is a clear driver of this. The cheap dopamine a person can find on social media, coupled with access to strangers (and bots) to argue with, is a recipe for anxiety and distress. General rule of thumb: if you can't immediately identify the value in an app (Uber = Ride, FaceTime = Mom’s smile), it’s very likely not good for you.
Avoid alcohol and drugs- This is a very complex topic, so I won't attempt to solve the problem here. However, when we use substances, we disconnect from ourselves and others in a world where we need to connect with others in order to thrive. Author Johann Hari put it well, saying, 'The opposite of addiction is connection.
As we look back on the past five years, it’s clear that the world we live in today is vastly different from the one we knew before the pandemic. The challenges we faced as a culture were immense, but so too were the opportunities for growth, adaptation, and connection. If there’s one lesson that stands out above all, it’s that resilience isn’t about simply enduring difficult times—it’s about learning, evolving, and finding meaning in the process.
While we can’t predict what the next five years will bring, we can continue to apply these lessons to our daily lives. We can choose to connect more deeply, set healthy boundaries, stay present, and approach both ourselves and others with compassion. The world will keep changing, but our ability to navigate it with intention and awareness will define how we thrive within it. So, as we move forward, let’s take these lessons with us—not just as reminders of where we’ve been, but as guides for where we’re going. Also, I used ChatGPT to write that last paragraph. What interesting times we live in…
For more information on Brad Smallwood, please visit him at http://bradfordsmallwood.com/
Brad Smallwood, MA, is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (MFT) in San Francisco whose main concentrations of treatment and experience are anger management, teenagers, challenging life transitions, and relationships. He was previously the in-house psychologist at Square, the financial technology company based in San Francisco, where he worked with their employees on issues ranging from anxiety, depression, and career fatigue to personal and professional growth. He regularly consults with small, medium, and large Bay Area businesses about their employee wellness planning and programming.
Brad’s professional background includes treatment at colleges, private businesses, inpatient psychiatric facilities, correctional centers, and community-based agencies, and he has worked with a very diverse population of individuals and families.
Brad’s training in the field of psychology is influenced greatly by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Family Systems, Solution-Focused Therapy, and Humanistic/Person-Centered Theory. He has received extensive training in Anger Management and has facilitated numerous groups to address issues associated with anger control. He also facilitates training on the impact of trauma on individuals and communities.
Brad lives with wife and daughter in San Francisco, CA. When not at work, he enjoys training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, surfing, and has passionately followed stand up comedy since he was a child.
We provide workplace teams with mindful practices, personal and professional wellbeing growth, fitness instruction, and opportunities for social connection. We aim to inspire the highest potential in people at work, in life, every day, so they can show up healthy and at their best.